There are so many different teaching styles and just as many ways to learn the material as one person can think of. Throughout your educational experience I’m sure there is certain teacher’s who you remember for teaching a particular way, or not teaching a particular way. If I was in charge of hiring teachers for our students today, very technology savvy and upbeat as they are, the instructor must be able to connect. I would want a teacher that understands this culture difference and be able to embrace it and mold his class around it. Younger teachers with a closer feel for the generation he is instructing who understands the teacher student relationship, both verbally and nonverbally. As student’s get older participation seems to decrease with every year, 1st grade the teacher asks a question and twenty hands go up to answer. Because of years of torment for wrong answers, when asked a question to a room of 12th graders, you’re lucky if you get one hand to go up. Teachers need to understand this and have a constructive way of stimulating conversation in the class room. Positive reinforcement both verbally and nonverbally are important in assuring the students attempt to participate and feel comfortable to participate. I was recently enrolled in a course where on the first day of school the class was forced to play games to get the students familiar with one another. The second day we played more games to get to know each other, by the second week of school there was conversation taking place before class and discussions were involved. Understanding how the young adults work is very important for being a successful instructor and giving your students a great chance at success.

Different situations cause different genders to act a certain way to fit in to the norms of their male and female counter parts. There are many scenes in the film Why Did I Get Married that illustrate these norms very vividly on how men act around men and how women act in the presence of other women. The film shows scenes of territorial women who mark there men and are very protective of them and men who leave the comfort of their home to find something more appealing. The conversations men have to try to impress one another of controlling their women and the women having the same conversation about controlling their men. Honesty and secrets are the underlying problems with relationships and the film shines light on the dark secrets that loom in every relationship in the movie, some more visible than others. The men were afraid to show emotion in front of their partners and women afraid to be honest with their partners on issues of great importance. These plaguing issues undermined each relationship and forced them be fixed before any chance at moving forward. When men and women compromise for the sake of love and commitment, happiness was soon to follow. This film really opened my eyes to the give and take part of relationships that have to exist. In my relationships talking on the phone is always a huge problem because I hate it and have to be going all the time and to sit in place drives me crazy. But, I have learned that compromising to a loved one will go along way in terms of making her happy even though I can’t wait to hang up the phone.

Male and Female are different in so many ways, not only in their “sex,” as Bate and Bowker say is what makes them different at birth and that it is their “gender” that makes them into presentable male and females in society (211-212). Parents and parental figures alike have a great influence on the norms that are learned during child hood that effect what others qualify as “appropriate behaviors” for members of the same sex (212). Gender norms are learned and as the child begins to feel comfortable in a certain type of group or affiliation and begin to find the boundaries of what society says is acceptable. Many traits of gender behavior are learned through the parents and what the child picks up as appropriate behavior.

Children begin to find their areas of comfort in society and develop their social skills and behavior that they believe to be appropriate and in some cases requires them to adopt both male and female norms to do so. “Androgyny” means male and female, and is a characteristic that some individuals learn because of the environment that they are presented with (230). My sister is 17 and was always looking up to me in sports and always trying to beat me at everything I tried. She always wore boy’s clothes and athletic gear and never thought about being girly for one second. Laughing at the thought of dance and cheer leading, she wanted to be on the basketball court trying to beat the boys. It wasn’t until she entered high school when she began to start learning to be a girl when I had left for school and she had my mother as her influence instead of me. She developed an androgyny personality that she can use to perform at sports in a male gender orientated norm. Turn around and go get manicures and facials with my mom after the game, in her female acceptable role. Danica Patrick is the most popular female example in our society. She is an Indy Race Car Driver and the only female to participate amongst the fleet of male competitors. She has a female personality but her counterpart male behavior makes her a feared competitor. These behaviors are present in society everywhere you turn and can be found in male and female dominate activities.

Throughout history the idea of the picture perfect woman has changed more times than anyone can actually remember. Today’s culture has established norms that are view differently all over the world and as Americans believe our modern culture is the best way to proceed, many other cultures disagree. Our women are believed to be tall, skinny, tan, and perfect. Resorting to any means possible to achieve the robust look and younger image that many women obsess over in the US.
In old times cultures believed that beauty was beheld in the pale, heavy set, women because it conveyed an image of social class because they skinny and tan women were the ones doing all the labor. The book brings up an example of stature changing to fit in when they speak of ancient Rome and how their culture was dark haired and the prostitutes wore blonde so they could be spotted.“ Messalina,” a wife of the king at the time started wearing blonde wigs and it changed the culture as other women followed suit, leaving it impossible to pick prostitutes out of the crowd (309).
American culture and style is ever changing and each season comes out with a different look that society approves of and attempts to match, much like ancient Rome blonde hair is everywhere and being able to spot the nature hair colors has become near impossible. As America changes at the turning of the seasons many cultures retain the same look they have had for centuries. My roommate visited Egypt for spring break and when I jokingly asked about the belly dancers and their beauty as portrayed in movies. He told me they actually have bellies and are proud of them because in their culture it means they are prosperous and well off.

Fashionably late is the always popular term in college kids lives as they try and set a certain image that they may or may not be aware they are portraying. Some young adults have no grasp of the importance of time and the nonverbal messages it portrays when they show up late and miss meetings with no idea of the message they convey with their being tardy. Schools such as Baylor have viewed this ever growing trend as a problem and enforce tardy’s for students lack of respect for the time class starts. Responsibility is a major factor in time management when making an attempt to not be late and be prompt it comes down to the individuals self motivation to be on time and convey the right nonverbal message. My life and habits were forcefully changed thanks to football and the many rules and understood behaviors involving time. Work outs always start at the same time every day and if an athlete is even 30 seconds late after the team has started they will be sent home like they didn’t even make an attempt to go. It is through football and college athletics that I have been able to experience in person the many dimensions of “Biological Time Orientation,” as discussed in our book by the many types of personalities and behaviors expressed at such early hours in the morning (179-180). We are pushed to physical and mental extremes when our minds are sometimes not fully awake. These moments you can really tell how people operate in the mornings and who cannot function regardless of their efforts. These not verbal messages are not hard to spot when you know what you’re looking for and it can be so obvious in situations like ours when your biological makeup is telling you to do one thing and your surroundings are forcing another upon you.

Touching is something that we pick up on as we grow and learn the norms and expectations of our society. There isn’t a written hand book for the way each person would like to be touched, or not at all, and it’s this reason that makes touching such an important nonverbal was of communicating. If it’s between friends or lovers there are certain ways that we touch to convey things that we might not be able to convey with words, it’s that nonverbal message that we send with our hands that says it for us. Touching with your lover would be very different than that of a friend or a professional partner in that the norms of that situation call for different kind of behavior that one learns with time and isn’t told on the first day. When your growing up it seems that every little kid just wants to touch each other and has no since of appropriateness about what they’re doing their just testing the boundaries. Age brings lessons learned from parents, teachers, and anyone with a role in your upbringing how people like to be touched in certain environments. Nonverbal messages are plentiful when touching someone, it has the power to convey the emotion of love and compassion and the ability to intimidate or show personality through a firm hand shake. In closing we should always be conscious of the messages we send when in the presence of others and the nonverbal signals that we send.

A Good Hug.

Human contact is something that man can not go without. It is a vital part of our everyday life and is the key for human to human connection through contact. Whether it is a friendly handshake, a warm embrace, or a kiss between lovers, touching relays a nonverbal message to the receiver in many different forms. It is noticeable that people who dislike one another or have issues tend to avoid all physical contact, while people who are interested in each other have obvious physical chemistry. In a recent educational study it was found that culture has an effect on the norms of touching among individuals in society(146). Touching of different areas also relays different messages from intimacy to a greeting. While men and women find different effects from physical contact it is obvious that the way to show affection in friendly or sexual manner among humans is through nonverbal communication by touching one another.

Many nonverbal messages are conveyed in an average everyday conversation that many are not even aware their sending. In a simple conversation with another individual many different things can take place nonverbally to have an effect on the conversation. When a conversation is going back and forth and one individual has not completed his or her story or what they have to say there are many ways to maintain the conversation by hand signals or increased speed and volume over the interruptions. Conversations must have communication back and forth and when an individual decides to turn over the floor and “yield” to the other person they might pause or motion the other person for their response or idea on the subject matter being discussed (103).

When you personally is the listener in the conversation and would like to offer your opinion in the matter but haven’t been given the opportunity to engage and enlighten the speaker you might start talking quite or start your sentence to alert the person talking you wish to speak which is called “turn requesting.” When a listener is interested in the conversation and the content and has no opinion on the matter or not significant enough insight to interrupt they just nod or agree with the speaker as to hint them to keep going. This display called “turn denying” shows the speaker you do not wish to interrupt and the floor is all theirs (104). Many techniques are used in our lives that we might not even be aware of but they impact our relationships and the way we converse with others and convey nonverbal messages through each one.

There are many aspects in determining the human personality and the nonverbal messages individuals send consciously or subconsciously. One very complex and easy misunderstood part of this understanding is in the vocal interactions that we have with others. Numerous thoughts and assumptions can be taken out of one conversation whether intended or not that will create an image and a personality about you for others to see. The book suggests that in some cases different parts of speech and vocal responses are learned throughout an individual’s life and certain parts are learned through time (97). Sarcasm is a part of our everyday life and is part of the human language that is hard to detect and is something that is learned. Sarcasm evokes confusion for people unfamiliar with it because your verbal message relates one thing and your nonverbal behavior relays a totally opposite reaction (97). Comics use it to lead their audience on thinking one thing and mean something entirely different all together and without knowledge of it one would be lost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI_FO4QaIR4

In this interview by Will Ferrell and John C Reilly demonstrate how you can be strait and verbal with somebody and have an entirely different meaning nonverbally. Sarcasm can be hard to detect and if you didn’t know they were joking one would believe it to be a real interview.

Through reading the past chapters in Nonverbal Behavior, I have come to realize that people are constantly communicating amongst each other through their appearances, interactions, attitudes, lifestyles, and styles without being verbal. It is obvious in today's society that people and styles are constantly changing, most vi sable through the decades. In the 80's big hair, leggings, and bright colors were the look that most girls were trying to express because that was the hip and popular image they wanted to portray nonverbal.

Through out the decades the fashion trends of young women are ever changing and people are always trying to impress the opposite sex going to any lengths to create the hip image. Moving from the vibrant styles of the 80's girls transformed into the fashion trends of the 90's which required less clothes, more creativity, and uniqueness.

Today thin, tan, and enhancements of areas that don't meet the standard to be portrayed as attractive in the eyes of the public are all the craze.

Though females are always changing their appearances to keep up with the trends of what men find attractive. Appearance is always the first thing that we notice about one another and its this nonverbal communication that lays the foundation for any verbal communication that follows.